Dear Alice

Dear Alice,

What a week we've had!  You have no idea how much we've had to do to get everything done for you.  We mailed off the paperwork to get us to the next step in bringing you home.  The paperwork was a lot of work, but the last 2 weeks were terrible!  You're so worth it.

But, now I have a problem.  I used the paperwork and the busy work as a way to take care of you.  I can't tuck you in at night.  I can't take you on car rides just yet.  So, I did paperwork.

Now, it's gone.  And even though I haven't met you in person yet, I miss you.  I miss doing something, anything, for you.  I miss the bright yellow folder that was my "paper baby".  I chose yellow because it seems happy and light.  I used to think I looked forward to the wait.  I would have time to read about Down Syndrome.  Read about what natural remedies I will be able to use to help you stay healthy.  I'm doing those things.  I'm making things to sell to help raise the money to bring you home.  By the way, your big brother Tom thinks that it costs $500 to get you and can't understand why we don't have that much to go get you.  He also thinks every time I leave the house it's to get to see you.  Wouldn't it be nice if it were that easy?

I used to read other adoption blogs for encouragement.  But now they just make me want to hold you even more.  I've stopped reading them for now.

Soon, my girl.  Our paperwork is being translated in to the only language you have ever heard as we speak.  After that is submission to the government in your current country.  More waiting.  Praying.  Preparing.

Our savior speaks of our future home in his word.  Jesus tells his followers he is going to prepare a place for them.  That this world is not their home. 

I think about you and where you are now in that orphanage.  It is not your home.  Although you've never lived any where else and it feels like the entire world to you.  There is someone preparing a place for you.  It is so much better than anything you've ever known.

Don't grow weary where you are.  Don't be sad because you don't have a mama to hold you.  Remember, I'm preparing a place for you.  One with brothers and sisters.  A home with lots of people to hold you, read to you, and watch out for you.  A home with many rooms.  If it were not so, I would have told you so.

Sleep well, my girl.  I miss you. 

Mama