I've had my last 3 babies without any pain meds. And they were all 9 + lbs. I have long, gentle labors. 8+ hours. At the end of the labor, I'm tired and I'm ready to be done. I hit transition and I am pretty sure I won't survive. Then it comes time to push. I dread that part. I usually start to say "No" over and over and my body takes over and does it for me since I've usually decided I want to go home and come back tomorrow...even if I'm already home.
That's how I'm feeling now. I want to scoop up Alice and run all the way home. But, I so don't want to get on that plane and go back to where we are going. I'm dreading the long flights...the smells...the language issue (we don't speak Russian and they do)...and missing the kids.
I keep looking at the pictures we took of that sweet face. I get so excited. Packing her clothes made me warm and fuzzy. But, I so do not want to go through this last little bit. However, this time is going to be easier.
We have already adopted her. The 10 day waiting period is over. She's ours. That takes that unknown off the table. We already know that the language is going to be an issue and have brought 3 books to help with that. We know that I am going to get carsick each and every time we get into a car. No way to fix that. It's just nice knowing. We know that we really need far less in our carry-ons than we did the first time. I know that we needed to bring canned refried beans, tortillas, and gluten free Bisquick in our suitcases. I know that I enjoy spending all that time with Erin. That part is really fun.
Our flight leaves in a few hours. One last push to get our girl home.
What an adventure this has been! I never in my wildest dreams ever thought I would be adopting from Eastern Europe. What a crazy ride. And just like my natural births...right now I don't think I ever want to do it again. With my natural births, the moment the baby is born, and we get to see and hold that sweet new person...it's totally worth it. I know that's how this will be. When we get to dress her in the shirt that says, "So Loved" and walk out of the orphanage forever...it will be totally worth it.