I know this post is going to sound so crazy. I've been trying to create it in my head all day. Trying not to sound like the dork I know that I am. I want to apologize for the remainder of the post now. If you want to stop reading so that you can maintain the facade that I'm...well, something entirely different than I am...I wouldn't blame you.
Although I thought I knew I wouldn't love Alice any less than the 5 children God gave me through the womb, but the intensity of my love for her surprised me. Truly, there is NO difference in the love I had when we held our first five and the love I have now. We had to block off part of our hearts when we left in December, or we wouldn't have been able to leave. Now that we are able to fully open up to her, we are fierce in our protection and love for her.
I am amazed, shocked, and honored by this. This is how the Lord feels for us when he adopted us to share in the inheritance of Christ. I would not treat her any different or less than the children God gave me from birth. Just as he doesn't treat us differently. Am I the only one sitting here slack jawed thinking about the enormity of that?
This is why I apologized. I am sure every other adopted parent has already figured this out. I can imagine you are sitting reading this thinking...DUH! I'm slow. I usually get there, just to the beat of my own drum. My children are already at this point emotionally. We were able to talk with them over the internet tonight. They ooo and aww when they see her. They fight to get to look at her face. 6 year old, Tom, said, "I just want to eat her up!" They already know how much they love her. They've always known. The faith of a child, right?